(DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES) Episode Two: Gratitude!

OPENING MONOLOGUE:

SL IS Drama.  Some drama is just honest unfortunate blending of unsuited people.  Some is just malicious game playing and manipulation.  No matter the source or the reason drama drains us, distracts us and often holds us back from the future we dream of.
Unfortunately we can't totally avoid drama.  All we can do is seperate ourselves from the black holes.  You know, those people who live to suck the life out of you.
When I face a difficult situation I find if I can laugh, it all seems better.  Even if I am laughing at myself.  So here is my wink and nod at the drama of second life.  Often the drama in SL reminds me of a soap opera.  So here's mine:  DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES!!!!!
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real avatars, living or dead, is probably spot on... cough cough I mean purely coincidental!  *winks*

Our last show left Lynn searching for shorts and Richard dancing to the tune of his lady love... 

Lynn continues to search for shorts.  She grows more and more frantic.  She starts mumbling to herself.  Suddenly Richard Kitty appears followed by his lady love, Veronica.

"Lynn Richard tells me you need help finding shorts.  I keep telling you over and over that if you'd just allow me to choose your outfits then you and MrRightThisSecond would be having pixel babies by now.  You never listen.  I don't know why I do this.  I give and give and give but does anyone think of me?  No I am always the one people use and never appreciate!"

Lynn hangs her head. "You are right Veronica.  I should listen to you more.  I am sorry."

"Of course I am right!  I'm Veronica!  I know what's best for everyone in every given situation.  Richard feels the same way I do. We've talked about it at length."

Lynn looks and Richard is shaking his head no behind Veronica's back.  Veronica sensing dissention looks at Richard who stops shaking his head and smiles and Veronica.

"Of course Veronica.  I am sorry for not seeing things they way you do.  Thank you Veronica for helping me even though I don't show you proper gratitude."

"Now Lynn.  You don't need shorts.  You need an entirely new outfit.  Why you've worn that shirt for FIVE MINUTES!  You need a new one.  MrRightThisSecond will never look at you twice if you don't keep changing everything about you constantly.  He'll get bored.  Let's go shopping."

Before they leave MrRightThisSecond appears.

Lynn gasps, "MrRightThisSecond...hi...*giggles like a 12 year old* It's great to see you.  Thank you for coming.  I am sorry you have to see me like this.  I can look better.  I can do anything you want.  I... I... I..."

MrRightThisSecond says,"It's okay Lynn.  You don't have to worry.  You have exactly what I am looking for: a great deal of desperation and low self esteem.  You fawn over me, wait on me, do everything I want you to and you never complain.  I have to say I am rather enjoying it and as long as I enjoy it, then I'll keep seeing you. Well until I get bored or you do something I don't like or really for any reason at all.  But do try to keep me happy it's very amusing.

"Oh MrRightThisSecond you are so smart and you say the sweetest things.  Thank you.  I'm so glad to know you.  Wow!!"

"I know Lynn... I know."

Will Lynn and MrRightThisSecond be a match made in SL heaven?  Will Richard ever disagree with Veronica?  Will Veronica ever get the appreciation she deserves?  Find out in the next exciting episode offfffff... DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES!  

Zathos (POEM)

Zathos

Always hovering just above her head, she sees his winged flight.
With arms extended she reaches for him but he is gone from her sight.

Again he returns to taunt and torture her mind,
She scans the skies always hoping to find,

A glimpse, a glimmer, just something to treasure.
Her body cries out for release, cries out for the pleasure,

She knows only he can bring to her, he drives her insane.
She is thirsting for water, thirsting for rain.

She waits for him to join her down here,
He teases her and taunts her circling near.

He dives down so low she can feel his breath,
Then he flies away it feels just like death.

She tries to free herself from the chains that bind her down,
In his intoxicating essence she feels she might drown.

To fly through the skies is her deepest desire,
But she has no wings and she has no fire.

She is bound to the ground and can only watch the skies,
She cannot hide the desire and excitement in her eyes.

She sees his shadow gliding near,
She is filled with expectancy and fear.

This time he lands and lifts her up into the air,
She relaxes in his embrace he takes her into his lair.

The mingling of bodies, the cries thrown into the wind,
The passion builds and devours until the pleasurable end.

Slowly he glides down and returns her to her place,
He gently brushes the hair from her face.

One gentle kiss and he leaves her wanting more,
His touch has tamed her and shaken her to the core.

He waits in anticipation to capture her, to return her to his lair,
She watches the skies waiting for him to take her back into the air.

Time To Fly (POEM)

I don't know if it was watching The Raven (a movie about Poe solving murders done in the style of his stories), my melancholy mood brought on by holidays, or actually seeing a fly on the ceiling of my bathroom but this poem is purely a flight of fancy.  A morbid flight but nothing but a flight of fancy all the same.  I am not in the least bit suicidal.  That being said, I bring you... Time to fly!

 

Time to Fly

 

A fly crawled across the ceiling as my life ran out,
I watched it moving across the white ceiling with it's
swirled patterns.
It seems so strange to be mesmerized by a fly,
my last thoughts as I died.
I'd spent too many hours on the unhappy events of my life,
so many hours on guilt and despair,
and my last thought not of loved ones,
of those I left behind,
but of a fly crawling across the ceiling.
I chose death in this bathroom all blue and white,

the colors are peaceful I am told.
Peace washed over me as the blood ran out,
taking my life with it as it flowed down the drain.
I could not love myself,
and refused to believe anyone else could.
I longed to be adored,
cherished and protected.
It was not meant for me I suppose.
I hope they don't mourn too much,
those who believed they loved me.
I hope their thoughts of me are as inconsequential as a fly
crawling across a white swirled ceiling.

A Jen Trouble Shooting Guide (POEM?)

A Jen Trouble Shooting Guide

If I get quiet and distant I probably feel insignificant
and I need to know I matter to you.
If I get bitchy and try to push you away, you're too close
and I'm scared.
 If I get insecure and worry too much, if you can, be patient with me.
If I get over the top crazy and bouncing off the walls joking, most likely I am really sad and trying to shake off the blues.
If I ask you for a lot of feedback, your opinion matters to me. 
If I cry, hold me.
If I am ridiculous, don't laugh at me.
If I do something right, tell me.
If I give you my word, believe it.
If I am funny, laugh.
If I doubt myself, believe in me.
If I make myself vulnerable to you, don't reject me.
If I give you my heart, even if you can't accept it, don't break it when you give it back to me.
If I bring myself to care about you, it takes a lot to make me stop.
If you make a promise to me, keep it.
If I love you, I want the best for you, even if I am not it.
If I have a heavy heart, remind me of my blessings.
If I have a tale to tell, If I have a song to sing, listen.
If I smile at you, smile back.
If I try to get your attention, don't ignore me.
If I draw closer to you, don't push me away.
If I open myself up to you, don't shut me out.
If I trust you enough to show you who I am, don't try to change me.

Basically... love with me,laugh with me, live with me, enjoy me as I am or set me free so I can find someone who can!

(DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES) Episode One : Shorts!

SL IS Drama.  Some drama is just honest unfortunate blending of unsuited people.  Some is just malicious game playing and manipulation.  No matter the source or the reason drama drains us, distracts us and often holds us back from the future we dream of.

Unfortunately we can't totally avoid drama.  All we can do is seperate ourselves from the black holes.  You know, those people who live to suck the life out of you.

When I face a difficult situation I find if I can laugh, it all seems better.  Even if I am laughing at myself.  So here is my wink and nod at the drama of second life.  Often the drama in SL reminds me of a soap opera.  So here's mine:  DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES!!!!!

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real avatars, living or dead, is probably spot on... cough cough I mean purely coincidental!  *winks*

We open with one solitary figure.  She stands alone in a sandbox trying on outfit after outfit.  She seems content.  No one knows the turmoil that engulfs her. What in the world is she gonna do?  It seems she just can't find the right shorts to go with her new top!

GASP...DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!

In pops a very flamboyant Kitty...  "Lynnnnnnnn!" 

"Richard!"

"What's new?" 

"Oh Richard I can't find shorts to go with this top!  How am I going to make MrRightThisSecond fall in love with me nowwwwwwwwwwwwww?  He'll never love me and be faithful only to me and have pixel babies if I can't find the right shorts!!!!"

"This is a dilemna.  Never underestimate the importance of a good pair of shorts!  Oh dear I have to go.  Veronica needs me five seconds ago.  If I don't jump to her beck and call she might cancel our wedding... AGAIN!"

Will Lynn find the perfect shorts?  Will MrRightThisSecond succumb to her charms?  Will RichardKitty EVER get married?  Find out in the next exciting episode offfffff... DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES!

Hell of a Ride (BLOG)

So I am doing a lot of thinking.  So many thoughts are flying thru my head, I can't even get them all down before they leave the way they came.  I am trying to record the really important ones but it's hard to keep up.

There's so much that I am learning about who I am, who I was, and what I want to be.  I am totally rearranging how I want to approach the world from now on.  It's exciting and a bit scary as well.

I have a peace I haven't had in a long time.  I have so many choices and so much I have to get done, I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed.  The old Jen could not have taken any of this on because she didn't believe she could.  But this new me, this new creature I am learning to live with, she tells me she can do a lot.  She tells me I'm in for a hell of a ride.

*holds on tight*   Let's see what happens!

Driving Force (BLOG)

So many voices in my head.  So much guilt and regret.  I can't shake it.  Insecurity plagues me.  I sometimes just want to quit!  Somehow I always muster up enough strength to go on.  Today I am wondering... why?

I can give myself 200 reasons to quit.  I have lost faith in everything including myself.  So why don't I just quit?  What is that spark that keeps me going?  Why am I still here?

One big spark and driving force is my son.  I want to be a good mother for him.  I don't want to let him down.  But there are times when the thought of him just isn't enough.  And yet, I don't quit.

Another big spark is my religious beliefs.  I do believe in God.  I do believe he has a plan.  But there are times when I have doubts even he could love me.  I think he should just give up on me even though he never has.  And still I go on.

Is there some spark, some eternal part of me, some glorious gift of God that drives me?  Is there really a plan and a purpose for my life that I am meant to fulfill before I go on to the next life?  Can I really make a difference in anyone's life?  Can I make a difference in mine? 

I am not sure of the answer but I do know I am driven.  Even at my lowest point I did not give up.  Surely there is some reason why I can't give up.  Surely there is some reason why I've experienced all I've experienced. 

Almost every painful experience in my life has been used to help others.  I've been given fine examples on how to live my life and the kind of person I want to be.  It seems like the only thing holding me back is me.

I need to quit trying to protect myself and let go.  I need to tap into that driving force and keep moving forward.  I need to remind myself there is a plan.  I want to love, laugh and live!  I want to live my life in service of others.  I want to make a difference.

And I will.  This damn energizer bunny driving force won't allow me to do otherwise.  Apparently quitting is NOT an option!  I must have something important to do.  I best get busy!!!!!