Audience (POEM)

Audience

 

I am never alone
They await my performance
Always pondering my every move
The faceless voiceless audience that drives me

 

They consume me, measure me, define me
Every moment and experience is nothing unless
it is shared
I'm bound by this overwhelming need to connect
I am nothing without reflection

 

Without an audience I don't exist
It matters not if the report be good or bad
I just need to see some reflection of myself
That reflection... that mist on the mirror
is proof of life

 

I change with each person
I seek to be what they want me to be
Strive to live up to what they think I will
Expect to disappoint and expect rejection at every turn

 

High on feedback I'll do anything for the next fix
Like a puppy I beg for a pat on the head
I am worthwhile only if I have notice
I hide in the shadows and curse that no one sees me

 

I don't love myself and cry when I am unloved
I sabotage myself and wonder why I get no where
I can't see beyond my own misery
I can't even define myself

 

I mindlessly pander to and fear the merciless audience that spawns me
Holding my breath, ready to change anything at the drop of a hat,
I await my review