Scars (Poem)

Scars

You never hit me once,

You never left a bruise.
but you still made a mark
some scars are invisible.

Words like poison

You forced down my throat
the only reason for them
to make me cry
to make me do things Your way.

You choked me with silence,

with indifference
with ridicule
to make me be quiet.

You starved me withholding affection

You pushed me away
You locked me out
to make me feel small and worthless.

You were never satisfied

nothing was good enough
everyone,especially me,was beneath You,
to make me feel unimportant.

You never listened to anyone

nobody had a worthwile opinion but You
nothing I said was considered
to make me feel stupid.

Nothing happened except at Your convenience

Nobody's time was important
Nobody mattered but You
to make me feel invisible.

You belittled my interests

scorned my religion
made me feel everything about me was wrong
to make me doubt my worth.

You were irritated by my singing

You laughed at my writing
You hated all the good things about me
to make me change all I was.

You dismissed my contributions

Never appreciated anything I did
Never even cared one way or the other
to make me try harder to please You.

You tried to kill all that was me

Tried to make me feel I was defective
Tried to make me into Your robot slave
to make YOU feel better about You

I eventually gave up on everything

didn't even want to live
and you still tormented me
to make me end my life.

You waited till the last second

to take me to the hospital
You hoped I'd die, was disappointed when I didn't
You made me wish I had.

You sent away my family

laughed at my weakness
never lifted a finger to help me
to repay me for not dying.

When I chose to live

You decided to find another person to torment
To find someone easier to mold into your ideal
I no longer had any thing left to give you.

You said you couldn't stand to be seen with me

You were disgusted by how fat I was
You found me old, ugly and hideous
to make me feel repulsive.

You screamed at me about the bills

What it cost to keep me alive
You humiliated me at every opportunity
to make me feel like a burden.

And when I realized what you had almost done
when I saw I was not who you saw me as
When I saw you for what You were
you said you hated me.

You thought you broke me

you thought you tossed me out like trash
you thought you sucked all the life out of me
But you only set me free.

The scars will remind me

That I can survive
That I am more than I thought
That all that is me isn't destroyed and will remain.

I would never know how precious I am

Would never know what I can withstand
Never known the best of me
if you had not tried to destroy it.

So I'll wear these scars as a badge of honor

Use my experiences to treat others with compassion
Encourage others to avoid this fate
And never let anyone have that much "power" over me again!