Guilt (POEM)

Guilt

I feel them closing in
Vines tangle up my legs
Round my body
In my hair

They bind around my chest
I can't breathe
I can't think
I am done for

Visions in my mind
Make it that much harder to breathe
I'd scream if I had any air
For all the good it would do

Crushing tightening no relief
I am driven to more destruction
More insanity
The cycle renews

I do not know how to stop
I just add more and more
There is no way to make me right again
I can only wait

Someday it will finish it's course
My last breath will be forced out
Vines then invading my body
Every orifice filled

A rather gruesome end
It's terrifying and hopeless
Feeling the progression
And waiting to die.

The Woman In the Mirror (POEM)

The Woman in the Mirror

who is this woman
staring at me in the mirror
what happened to the carefree spirit
the silly wacky weirdo that lived in this body
what bondage, what spell was I under?
Why did I give it all to someone who never cared
And now there is no way I will ever be vindicated
No way to ever make things right
I just have to take it
Just have to deal and go on
I want to find that lovely happy girl again
I want all that love and joy to flow freely once again
I search for her, is she still there
Should I mourn her and go on
Try to forge something good from the ashes
or can I rekindle the fire
Will she ever smile at me again in the mirror
Or will I always see this sad pale face
reproaching me for what was
and what I let happen
I want her back, I want to be free
I want that untamed, unbridled, passionate creature
to blink and stare and be pleased with her reflection
to feel satisfied with all she is and resigned to what she is not

Inconstant Musing (POEM)

 

Inconstant Musing

Trying  to open my mind,

To muses lost in time.

The ticking clock erases,

All their distant traces.

Eyes closed again I send,

Siren calls upon the wind.

They echo back alien, weird, and twisted,

And disappear like they never existed.

Ripples I see remind and taunt me,

Fleeting words that mock and haunt me.

I will my tongue at last to speak,

The honeyed words to make you weak.

But my muses remain cruel and fleeting,

Leave me silent only my heart beating.

(DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIFE) Episode Three: Meat Market!

OPENING MONOLOGUE:

SL IS Drama.  Some drama is just honest unfortunate blending of unsuited people.  Some is just malicious game playing and manipulation.  No matter the source or the reason drama drains us, distracts us and often holds us back from the future we dream of.
Unfortunately we can't totally avoid drama.  All we can do is seperate ourselves from the black holes.  You know, those people who live to suck the life out of you.
When I face a difficult situation I find if I can laugh, it all seems better.  Even if I am laughing at myself.  So here is my wink and nod at the drama of second life.  Often the drama in SL reminds me of a soap opera.  So here's mine:  DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES!!!!!
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real avatars, living or dead, is probably spot on... cough cough I mean purely coincidental!  *winks*

Our last show left  MrRightThisSecond basksing in his own glory, Lynn dreaming of Pixel Babies, Veronica wishing for adulation, and Richard worried about the likelihood of his upcoming nuptials.

"Lynnnnnnn  Lynnnnnnn where are you?  I have something for you!" 

"Oh Richard what is it?" 

"It's an invitation to my wedding!  You'll come right?"

"So you are still going thru with it?"

"Of course I am... Veronica is my one lady love!"

"Then why do you look so pained when you say it?"

"Ahem Lynn."

Lynn turns around to see her MrRightThisSecond looking very annoyed.

"Oh Mr. what's the matter?  Did I forget to do something?  Did I not change my hair enough?  Was my blog about you not complimentary enough?  Did I BREATHE wrong?  Because I can do better I promise!"

Mr. patronizingly pats Lynn's head.  "It's alright dear.  You tried your best.  This just simply isn't working out.  I think you should go away now.  And think about what you didn't do that made me leave you.  And I of course already have someone else to wait on me hand and foot.  Her name's Cynthia and she knows everyone!  Including me.  Goodbye Lynn!"

Lynn sits down and sobs.  Richard bails and Lynn is left in her sorrow.  Then who should show up but Veronica.

"I never want to be friends with you again!  How could you be so stupid as to think you could keep a gem like Mr. interested in you?  If you just did as I said, this would never have happened!  Richard is bored of you and so I am.  We talked about it at length... with anyone who would listen.  They all agree.  You suck.  And don't even THINK about coming to our wedding!"

Veronica huffs off.  In her wake a beautiful woman walks up to Lynn.  "What's with the bitch?" she said.  Lynn laughs.

"She is a bitch isn't she?  I'm Lynn and I just got dumped by my guy and her."

"I'm Elizabeth.  And it's no loss as far as I am concerned.  There are plenty of fish in the SL sea!  I think you just need a trip to the Meat Market!"

"Meat Market?"

"Oh yes the Meat Market can bring you any kind of guy you dream of.  You want a rich guy... a subby guy... a masterful guy... a funny guy... you can find them all at the market.  Personally I think one is as good as another, but hey... I want to see you smile.  And what makes you smile more than a brand spanking new guy?  Are you in?"

Lynn nods.

As Elizabeth shows Lynn the Meat Market she is mesmerized.  Tons of men and women stand in one spot and just look at each other.  "Why don't people talk here Elizabeth?"

"Oh they are all IMing each other.  Don't worry you'll get your own IMs very soon."

Lynn looked and she had IMs from 6 different guys.  They all said the same thing... "Hello good looking wanna have sex?"  She clicked them all off without answering.  Then  one guy said, "You don't look like you belong here.  Why are you at the Meat Market?"

"Well my boyfriend dumped me and my good friend dumped me and this total stranger said I should come so I did."

I see... so are you looking for someone to tell you what to do?  Because I am very good at that.  You have to call me Sir and I'll call you girl but you'll love it.  I can read minds and I know what you need.  You need to spend every waking second thinking about what I need."

Lynn nodded.  "Yes I do!  You know me.. You really know me. " She started to walk over to GetYerAssOverHereBitch but Elizabeth stopped her! 

"Are you nuts?  You just got out of that type of relationship.  Why don't you try someone who makes you feel good about you?"

Lynn nodded... "Yes I would like that very much.  Someone to say nice things... and think I am great as I am... is there such a man?"

Elizabeth muttered, "I haven't found him yet." 

Before Lynn could answer she got another IM.  "Pardon me for intruding miss but you just looked so lovely I couldn't stop myself."

"Oh thank you!"

"I was wondering if there was anything I could do for you miss?  Anything at all?  I would love to be your footstool... if you'd like.  Just tell me what you want.. I'll do anything!"

"What I want?  I don't understand!"

"Yes what are your desires... your dreams... what would you like to do to me.  Nothing is too good for you Miss."

"Desires?  dreams?  I don't know what you are talking about!"

She whispered to Elizabeth, "He's scaring me... make him go away!"

Elizabeth looked bored and said, "SHOO!" 

MrI'llBeYourEverything ran away.

"Maybe I am not ready for the Meat Market..."

"Listen Lynn.  You are never going to get what you want if you don't know what you want.  Maybe you aren't ready for the Meat Market... but would you ever be?  Just have some fun... relax... that's what SL is all about.  Date a guy or two.  Juggle them... hell make em dance like puppies and give them dog treats if it makes you feel good.  Just do something fun... and for you."

"But what about their feelings?"

"What about them?  You are only responsible for your own feelings.  I am not saying trample their hearts.  You aren't the type.  I am just saying, don't let them trample yours.  Find someone who appreciates you.  Someone who makes you laugh."

"That guy looks funny."

"MrEverythingIsFunnyEvenWhenItIsn't?  If you like him... go talk to him!"

Elizabeth looks on with a pained face as Lynn giggles over and over and over at whatever the "funnyman" was saying.

"This girl needs a lot of work!!!!!!"

Will Lynn ever find the man she's searching for?  Will she ever stop laughing?  Will Elizabeth teach Lynn a thing or two?  And Will either of them go to Richard and Veronica's wedding?  Find out in the next exciting episode of....

DAYS OF OUR SECOND LIVES!

Dear (POEM)

Dear


My beloved Dear One,
You hold me in your headlights,
I stare mindlessly at your essence.

In the beginning I felt hunted,
How I loved the chase,
I loved being the prize you sought.

But now I am mesmerized,
Caught in your antlers,
I am not even afraid.

The trust shines in my eyes,
A gentle dumb creature I have become,
Not sensing the danger I feel safe.

A wild animal no longer,
I have been domesticated,
I have left my herd behind.

No bellow will you hear,
No desire to even mark my territory,
No need for nourishment I am full of you.

I am enticed by pheromones,
I have no desire to flee,
I will stay with you because...

Dear... you have my hart!

The Magic In Your Eyes (POEM)

The Magic In Your Eyes

I do not yearn for the days of my youth,
The carefree barefoot days I squandered,
There was much pain mixed in with naivety,
So much I would choose to forget.

I like the person I became,
I like the knowledge that I gained,
And the wrinkles that adorn my face,
Are evidence of the the life I lived.

The lessons learned joy and sadness mingled,
Each milestone marked as years went by,
Every thing that shaped who I am,
Is told in the lines of my face.

My only regret is with time and experience,
The stars that revealed the answers I quested,
Faded with each passing day,
And soon disappeared from my eyes.

I sometimes miss the warm summer nights,
Where I chased the unsuspecting firefly,
Their glow so much like stars,
That had fallen to earth.

I'd hold them in my hands a while,
And let the glow light my face,
And then I'd set them free,
To illuminate another childish face.

I did not want to hold them captive,
Their magic faded inside a jar,
Only flying free could they bestow,
Their evanescence to our human race.

I long to sit beneath the stars,
And find the knowledge that I once sought,
I yearn to hold a firefly in my palm,
And once again find in my face that magic glow.

I lost them when I stopped believing,
As each tragic moment chased them from my heart,
My heart grew hard and I gave in to darkness,
No light could penetrate the pit.

Any light that found it's way in my pit,
was soon extinguished no light could stay,
The magic faded in the jar,
That surrounded and protected my hardened heart.

And when I finally saw a tiny light,
Fluttering in my darkness,
I was mesmerized by it's glowing light,
I wanted to follow where it led.

I was curious as to what it was,
It's origin to me a mystery,
How could it shine when others had failed,
To bring light to my chosen abode of darkness.

It wasn't a star way up in the night sky,
That I should stare at it in adoration from afar,
Nor was it a firefly to be stalked and captured,
To be imprisoned in a jar just so I could keep it near.

And though it gave me answers to questions I sought,
And it gave me a glow to my saddened face,
This light was much more than stars or fireflies could ever be,
It was the magic I found shining in your eyes!

Pretty Little Lies (POEM)

Pretty Little Lies

Speak to me those pretty little lies,
Tell me what I want to hear when you look into my eyes,
I don't care that the words just aren't true,
I just want to feel like I am one with you.

You all lie and you all try to change me,
A lil here and there you completely rearrange me,
Just a nip just a tuck,
Then I'll be good enough to fuck.

I don't care anymore what you have to say,
It doesn't matter I've come to play,
Try as you might you'll never get to see,
The secret I keep deep inside of me.

You'll see what I show you, you'll see what I want,
You'll get what I give you and love what I flaunt,
But you'll never know me, you'll never get in,
You'll never control me or hurt me again.

Protection is the name of the game,
Never again burned by passion's flame,
Things will get steamy but I won't feel any pain,
The flames will lick all around with nothing to gain.

I'm all burnt out nothing but charred emotion,
So I can no longer feel hate or devotion,
My feelings are something I will no longer share,
I won't toss my treasures out into the air.

You can deal with anything if you know the score,
And my heart will never play the game anymore,
Nothing but playacting and manipulation driven by lust,
It doesn't matter the feeling it will always turn to dust.

So dance like a pagan, howl at the moon,
Indulge wanton hedonist, play your own tune,
Fuck me and use me like there's nothing you want more,
Just tell me those lies before you walk out the door.